I hope that the following interview answers most of your questions, if not please feel free to contact me and allow me to fill in the blanks for you!

Christi, you specialize in supporting people through their adoption search and reunion process, right?

Yes, that’s right.  I have a real passion for working with adoptees and birthfamily members as they navigate through this emotional, exciting and complicated time in their lives.

What makes you capable of offering support to them?

I am able to be supportive because I truly understand the issues involved.  I am an adult adoptee who always longed to know about my birthfamily.  After college I started my own search, which endured many starts and stops over 17 years.  Early in 2004 my search started, again, and I found my birthfamily.  I am now in reunion with my birthparents and half siblings as well as my birth grandmother.  And, my relationship with my adoptive family is as strong as ever.

What triggered you to start your search all those years ago?

After college my overwhelming emotions required attention and I started therapy.  I had been chronically plagued by depression and radical mood swings throughout high school and college.  My therapy dealt with many facets of my life including my adoption.  The therapist said that it was going to be important for me to search for my birthfamily.  She believed that finding information about my roots was necessary for me to be able to  gain control over my emotions and negative self image. 

And have you?

Yes.  And since that time I have continued my journey of personal growth.  My depression has been overcome and my life is now stable.  I have read literally hundreds of books and listened to thousands of hours of audio programs spanning a huge realm of topics.  I have attended many weekend workshops by some of the most well respected teachers in the personal growth movement.  To see some of the books which have affected me the most please visit my Resource page.

Do you think this had an effect on your reunions?

I do believe that my journey to understand myself and life has helped my own adoption reunions to be successful.  Because my personal journey has spanned many years and I have overcome many challenges, I believe I am well positioned to support others on their personal journey.

Your reunions sound almost perfect.  How can you help people who are still searching or who are struggling in their reunion?

Early in my reunion I had to make dozens of choices and I know what helped me make the right ones.  Everyone involved in a search/reunion will face their own set of circumstances and decisions.  The resulting choices are theirs alone to make.  Being able to clearly see their unique situation, align it with their core values and accept the outcome is where I come in.  I help people walk through the process because I have been there and done it myself. 

Is it your goal that everyone have a perfect reunion?

Well, that would sure be nice, but unfortunately it isn’t possible.  Some people find and meet people they really like and others don’t.  Remember, there are a million external influences that can impact the situation, so it can be very complicated.  That is precisely why it is helpful to have someone who can be a guide through the process of deciphering all the complex thoughts and feelings. 

Years ago when I was in therapy I was told that, “searching for your birthfamily isn’t about finding them, it is about finding yourself in the process”.  I didn’t understand that then, but I do now.  And, I believe that is what search and reunion is really about – finding the answers you long to know about yourself.  If a good relationship evolves from the process that is icing on the cake, but it doesn’t make the process any less valuable.  Being able to keep that in mind during the whirlwind and chaos of search and reunion is critical to personal growth, and that is something I simply love being able to provide.

Now that we know a little about how you got to be a reunion coach, can you tell us a little about the people you have already helped?

Sure, but for more information and to read their own words, please go to the testimonial page.  I have worked with adoptees (men and women from their late teens through their early 60’s), birthmothers and birthfathers as well as some adoptive mothers.  I have also had contact with birthsiblings, who have their own set of issues.

I, of course, relate most closely to adoptees, but I believe that I have an excellent understanding of the major issues that birthparents face as well.  Remember, this is really about acceptance – acceptance of yourself first and the new people in your life second.  In the end it isn’t about whether I can relate to any specific situation, it is more about the safe space I provide and the tools that I will share with my clients that will enable them to find their own path.

What other experiences have you had that helped to bring you to this point?

A huge part of my life has been with my horses.  Animals are wonderful teachers, and animals that are big and strong teach at a whole different level.  I have been riding and training horses since I was 9 years old.  Through those years, one of the major lessons I have learned from my equine friends is this: first there has to be movement, then it can be directed.  Life is like that.  You have to be willing to move first in order to learn, stretch, accomplish goals, or evolve through life.  Sometimes being willing to take that first step requires a lot of courage.  My horses taught me that.  Being confident and well prepared were critical for me to feel capable of taking charge.  I can directly relate that to the experience of moving through an adoption search/reunion process.

In addition, I spent many years as a scuba diver, diving in the Caribbean, Hawaii and off the coast of Central America.  When diving I was out of my element, in an entirely new environment.  Walking through an adoption reunion is very similar – there are no rules and everything feels unfamiliar.  My experience in over 500 dives taught me to go with the flow and not to fight the current.  Those lessons have served me well in life.

What does this work mean to you?

Being able to spend my days in a way that is connected to the passionate part of who I am, it is unbelievable, a dream come true.  I was educated and employed as an accountant for years but I always felt unfulfilled.  Now I am in a position to use my experiences with the horses, the diving, my personal growth and my own adoption reunion to help other people step into their personal power.  Nothing can compare to the sense of satisfaction and fulfillment I have in helping other people find the lost pieces of themselves and move forward into a more fulfilling life of their own.

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