It is important to remember that once this door has been opened - whether it was your choice or someone else's - life can never be the same again.  The emotions that are tied to a reunion run deep, so deep that rocking them shifts your foundational view of life.  You may find questions you never knew you had soaring to the surface of your mind.  You may find yourself overwhelmed with strong emotions, or shutting down to an extent you never imagined. You may find a sense of peace previously unknown.

 

And none of that is dependant on a reunion even taking place. For many people these shifts happen when a search is seriously contemplated, or after the first request for information has been made.

 

Over time the shifts that have happened settle down as you enter what I like to refer to as "the new normal".  Your altered perspective seeps into your language, your belief structure and your interactions with those closest to you.  It is a slow process, and unique to each person.  For some people the transformation is easy and swift.  For others it is slow and full of struggle.  Either way it makes its path into your life, week by week and month by month.

 

Like everything else in an adoption reunion, this shift from your "old normal" to your "new normal" can be used to help you know yourself better, heal old wounds and support those you care about most.  Working with your Coach will enable you to use this once in a lifetime experience to explore new ways of relating to yourself and your world.

 

Whether you have an easy search and the reunion of your dreams or a much harder time, you have a choice.  You can choose to grow and learn as much as possible and invest your attention in yourself, or you can choose to simply get to the other side of the experience, hoping that once you arrive there you will feel content.

 

Which choice has the most value for you?