When the first information comes in it never completely matches our expectations. If the first information is from a non identifying write up, the facts may be very sketchy. They may tell the story of a person with an unexpected family size or situation.  They may discuss worrisome health issues or it all may sound too good to be true. 

If the first facts come from a more direct source, the information will no doubt be more complete.  It may tell the story of a person more educated or more financially secure than was imagined.  It may describe a person with a very different lifestyle, values or morals. 

If you receive a picture it can be very shocking, possibly showing a face familiar in many ways, or disappointing if there is no resemblance at all.  The person looking back may dress differently than you do or they may look older or younger than you had expected. Value judgements based on appearances seem to run rampant at this point for many people.

The biggest shocks usually come during the first face to face meeting, especially if it takes place in the new person's home.  Seeing an individual's personal space adds substance to our image of who they are. 

Regardless, it is important to allow yourself room to let the thoughts swirl and the judgements surface.  Because, in the end, they will anyway.  After the judgements have unveiled themselves they can be taken to Inquiry and acceptance can be found. This process often has many steps, but with each step comes an increased feeling of acceptance.

Reunion is a search for self and through the process of inviting new people into our lives we are able to find increased acceptance of ourselves. Working with your coach can speed up this process, reduce your inner struggle and help you find peace.

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